Babbles of a Lover and a Fighter

I read a lot of web comics.  By “a lot,” I mean about 14.  Some are funny.  Some are nerdy.  Most are funny and nerdy.

asofterworld.com is…different.  Sometimes it’s exactly what I’m thinking,

and other times it’s more like…what are they thinking…

But the first one is one that really caught my attention because, well, I thought that exact thing just the other day.

There should be a word for ‘the things we do not because we want to but because we want to be the kind of person who wants to.’

I wonder how thin the line is between the two and how you can tell if it’s who you are or who you wish you were.  I’m not referring to anything in particular; it’s just one of those insomniac nights where thoughts ricochet in my head.

Well, I take that back.  My brother’s going into the Navy, and those three frames pretty much sum up my thoughts about it.

Interesting.

It has been an unforgivably long time since I have posted.  So much has happened in the last few months that I am kind of still reeling from the shock of it all.

First, Happy New Year!  Woo, 2011!

And Second, ladies and gentlemen, after a year and a half of searching, I am proud to announce that I have finally, finally found a job!

*cue epic movie soundtrack music…or “Secrets” by OneRepublic*

After one roller coaster of a year, it feels insanely good to feel like I have my feet on solid ground again.  Looking back on it, 2010 really did have its highs and lows, and for me, the year was definitively split right down the middle.  It’s funny how life suddenly seems to yank you in another direction when you least expect it, and the resulting whiplash can be pretty brutal.

I’m not usually one to prattle on about new year resolutions and life evaluations around the time the ball drops, because I’m the type who thinks you shouldn’t wait for the new year to make a change in your life.  I feel, however, that this is such a turning point for me considering how things have gone post-college, and it just happens to fall around January 1st.  I suppose this is as good a time as any to start fresh, change bad habits, and make a conscious effort to keep the past in the past.  Also, I would be lying if I said that having a steady paycheck doesn’t help facilitate forming good habits (like getting a gym membership or eating something a little more healthy than Ramen).

So, here’s to starting anew.  New job, new house, new car…with familiar friends, familiar city, familiar feeling.  Butterflies in my stomach.  Like a little kid anticipating the first day of school.  Excited but terrified.

Here we go!

We took boats around a lot in the Philippines hopping to different islands.  Sitting on the outriggers, lying on top of the roof (is that was you call the top of a boat?), or being King of the World hanging off the bow, we were in heaven on the sea.  We saw beautiful sunsets and the occasional flying fish, dried up waterfalls and a rainbow around the sun.

It was absolutely perfect.  If I ever get wealthy enough to by property around those parts, I’m definitely going to.  There’s just something about the ocean, the never-ending wash of waves on the beach that makes me feel simultaneously insignificant and indispensable.

Like no matter what, compared to this vastness, my problems, my happiness, my heartache, my life is infinitesimal, but at the same time it is mine alone to experience, and sometimes it means the world to me, though not the world to the world.

I took three pictures like this on three different days.  Always on stairs, always downcast, always with feet.  It’s not that I have a weird fascination with steps…it’s just…I find it interesting that they’re all the same but totally different…if that makes sense at all.  I could be on a dock in the middle of the ocean, or in a fort where they kept and tortured prisoners, or on the beach…the steps always lead somewhere.  Why would they be there if they didn’t lead anywhere?